Marriages are always headed for divorce

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Marriage is a funny old thing… Some people seem to think it makes no difference whether you’re married or not, where as I believe that isn’t true. I believe it depends on how you got into it is that is the real thing that makes it different or not. For us marriage was a complete game changer, it affects our actions, our thoughts, our arguments, our disagreements, our sex, our dreams, our goals, our direction…

Why? Because from ‘I do’ divorce was never going to be an option. I guess maybe I’ll first say that I believe all marriages are headed for divorce. This probably sounds like a very strange statement to follow up my first statement with. Every day we choose to put the hard work in to keep divorce not an option. At this stage in our marriage, just over 6 months in, choosing isn’t that hard but we’re not planning on waiting for it to get hard to put the effort in. The picture above is of the when our “rev’ Andy said  to the congregation once he’d married us ‘What God has joined let no man put asunder’ which we choose to take that statement more seriously than anyone else.

Why bother with all this effort…because we believe in love. We believe that love is a choice, the love that changes the game is a sacrificial one. Where did we get an idea like this…Jesus. Jesus lead the way on game changing love and we want to follow in his example. We got married believing that our marriage wasn’t just for us. Why? Simply think about the aftermath of divorce… it doesn’t just leave a couple hurt, angry and having to separate out two lives that had been invested into as a shared life, not even close! I’m sure you’ve seen the devastating hurt that divorce leaves in families, in children and in communities of friends.

Our marriage isn’t just a joining of two lives into one but a ’til death do us part’ commitment that we have entered into to honour God and to glorify Him, in the hope and joy that we will see His kingdom come not ours in our marriage. So marriage has changed everything. When you have promised to not matter what to be together we have to let go of grudges, we can’t keep records of wrongs, and even harder we have to communicate to each other how we feel wronged and be willing to admit how we have wronged each other.

No marriage is without risk…love is always a risk. Mike Pilavachi recently said ‘No one marries the right person’ because the two people who marry each other wil change over their lives together. I didn’t say ‘I do’ to Mr Right, I said ‘I do’ to Mr ‘Right at the time’ and I’m married to Mr Blakey, my husband and we decide all the time to be Mr & Mrs ‘always the best choice we made’…

 

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