Monthly Archives: November 2009

I realised some important stuff today. I’ve been struggling with the feeling of failure. I have felt like I’ve already failed as a designer. This is a lot to do with feeling like I wasn’t good enough for Goldsmiths, that I haven’t lived up to how I should be doing after the course or precieved expectations. But basically not feeling good enough.

But I realised I don’t have to live up to anything. It was my degree and my learning experience. It is not an oppertunity that I was given where I now have to prove that I deserved to have it in the first place. School is an experience not about learning but achieving, about proving yourself in the grades you recieve. Unfortunately I carried this with me into my degree and my degree grade was a big blow. Understanding that my degree was about the things I learnt and not still proving myself has freed me from feeling rubbish now. I haven’t failed, I can do anything. And thankfully I do owe the people who have taught me alot because I learnt a heck of a lot. I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else, even thought my grade would have been better elsewhere. Instead I was pushed and challenged and shaped. I didn’t fail, I just got things wrong. You don’t learn things getting it right.

“Just keep doing stuff” is the advise I remember hearing Sam Hill saying on how to deal with finshing your degree. This is what I’ve tried to do, successfully and unsuccessfully! Today feeling a bit depressed after a busy week of ‘work’ [waitressing and creche for an english language course] without doing any design but visited Ester Kneen today at a crafty type fayre she was doing, bought one of her lovely cards and got a bit inspired! Her advise was BLOG everything so you can see you’ve done stuff! So here goes…

I was thinking about recording things with drawing instead of a camera and made a view finder to focus on what your drawing.DSC03323

The drawing cam in action…just trying it out at South Bank.DSC03324

The postcards were very popular so I made an actual one aimed for print…If your interested in some I’ll be getting some printed for sale.DSC03329

Finally this is a piece I have been knitting for a gentleman. It was started for him by his wife 14years ago but he is now her carer and she is unable to knit. So I’ve been finshing it for them.DSC03328